Not everything is always peachy, and I think it’s important to be honest about that. Lately, I’ve felt overwhelmed—or maybe underwhelmed. Not so much anxious or stressed but stuck in a cycle of procrastination and wasted time, which only leads to guilt.
Still, I’ve been making some bold decisions. As I get older, I’m learning to recognise the things I hang on to that bring nothing but pain and anguish. And really, who has time for that? Especially when it comes from a place that should feel safe and warm.
For me, it’s my wider family. The way we’ve been treated has made me realise that life is simply better for me and my boys when we step back from it. And then came the epiphany: I don’t have to accept any of it. For my own mental health, I can let go of that baggage and continue my journey lighter, freer, stronger.
It’s not easy, letting go of something so close to your heart never is! But when you’ve spent too long hoping for a different outcome, only to feel wretched from repeated disappointment, it becomes clear: walking away is the right thing.
Today, I feel stronger. More in control of my future. Procrastinating less. Returning to my “get-stuff-done” mode. But I’ll be honest, my coping mechanism for years has been to push myself at work, overachieve to feel “worthy,” all while secretly battling imposter syndrome. I’ve carried the fear that one day, everyone would see through me, that my supposed worthlessness would be exposed like a flashing neon sign.
But here’s the shift: I’ve put on my big girl pants, and I’ve started to truly see how glorious my life already is with my little family. I don’t need scraps of attention from people who make me feel like a checkbox at the bottom of their to-do list. I don’t need to measure my worth against how they treat my siblings. And I’m finally putting the toxic belief of “I’m not enough” firmly in the Not today, not ever pile.
This is a transition year for me. A hard one, but also an empowering one. I’m learning to enjoy the small things, be present with my family, and remind myself daily:
I AM ENOUGH.
If this resonates with you, I hope you too can find the grit to let go of what hurts, and step boldly into the life you deserve. You May also like to read The Next Chapter and Finding Joy in Organisation
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